Emergence

"How do we claim the space 'between' as our own, liberating ourselves from the linear trajectory and instead living in robust, limitless 3D? We choose ourselves." - Melody Godfred

From The Noodler

Women are uniquely connected to the liminal. Our lives are nuanced and unique, sharing a connective tissue of cultural expectations, some experiences - and many realities. To encapsulate and capture this dynamic, we reached out to Self Love philosopher, Melody Godfred.

Melody has spent over 15 years examining the personal and professional lives of women from a uniquely intimate perspective - as a lawyer, resume writer and career coach, poet, and self-love movement maker. Melody has held space for thousands of women wrestling with the idea of choosing themselves and the lives they want over the arbitrary rules of a 2D life. To encapsulate this, Melody composed a long form poem, ‘The Liminal Woman’ and companion essay that collectively weave together first-hand stories that embody the embrace of a 3D life. This includes quotes from women in Melody’s community interwoven throughout the essay as representation of the 'downloads' of spiritual wisdom and intuition that carried them through the liminal process.

Poetic Essay

Liminality is often the defining unifier of women: we continually push ourselves forward until we reach the next milestone, our worth always waiting around the corner. The illusion of the milestone of course being that it is so fleeting, even when we arrive we're on to the next quest. How do we free ourselves from being defined by these momentary finish lines, our accomplishments, and especially by our labels: daughter, friend, graduate, wife, mother, CEO? How do we claim the space between as our own, liberating ourselves from the linear trajectory and instead living in robust, limitless 3D? We choose ourselves.

The beautiful thing is, now I know that the *when* isn't the most important factor. If it's meant for me I'll certainly have it. And if not, then something better than I could have ever dreamed up is well on its way. I will never apologize to her for failing. Because it's okay that I’m not where I thought I’d be. I always, somehow, end up right where I’m supposed to be.

“How can I help you take your next step?” This phrase is how I started every interview during the decade I spent as a resume writer empowering thousands of people to embrace their narratives and land their dream jobs. In getting to know my clients, I discovered a common trend: in their quest to achieve the next step on their linear paths, many women were increasingly sacrificing their authentic selves, happiness and well-being.

I have realized being my true self feels more natural and aligned. Not pretending to be someone I’m not to gain approval, acceptance and my worthiness. Pretending kept me constantly chasing, exhausted and more empty.

I was helping them get to the next step — but at what expense? Unlike men who would be willing to apply for any job regardless of their qualifications or future plans, many women I worked with were more careful: how will I balance this with getting married, or becoming a mother? Am I qualified enough to even apply? They sacrificed the liminal — the now — to preserve all future optionality. To make sure they could achieve ‘the’ milestone. To make sure they could play their designated roles. The clock was always clicking in the background, not just for them, but for me, too. I never questioned the path we were on, and the importance of the milestones we were all pursuing.

I'm working out, journaling, getting to where I am my support and even though I will have more moments of rejection and abandonment in my future I will always be my own safe space to land.

I explored this trend further when I created the Self Love Pinky Ring and invited women to put it on as a reminder to choose themselves. The first ring wasn’t about starting a movement — it was about reclaiming myself. Despite hitting all the most desirable milestones on my own linear path by the time I was thirty, lawyer, entrepreneur, wife, mother, home owner… I didn’t get the reward I was anticipating: happiness. In my quest to get ahead, I had left myself behind. I had already experienced the power of wearing a ring as a symbol and reminder of commitment when I got engaged years earlier; this time though, the commitment I needed to make was to myself. By wearing the Self Love Pinky Ring as my sparkling reminder, I set out to rediscover and honor my authentic self. And I did.

The day I decided to choose myself, my entire life changed. My outlook on life and even my performance at work and in school improved. My relationships with the people who TRULY cared about me improved. And I realized that choosing myself had to be a lifelong commitment.

Women in over fifty countries not only purchased the Self Love Pinky Ring and joined my self love movement; they also entrusted me with their stories. I asked each of them to tell me about the moment they chose themselves, and what it meant to them. Despite how unique each story was, one thing unified them all: when a woman relinquishes the linear path and the labels that come with it, and instead chooses to honor her authentic self and needs, she reclaims her power, worth, wholeness and joy. She also regains autonomy over her present moment — her now — instead of being defined by her future. So many stories of leaving abusive relationships, going back to school, recovering from loss, embracing being single, finding love, bucking cultural norms, and making the biggest dreams come true.

I took my wedding ring off and am replacing it with the Self Love Pinky Ring as a promise to take care of me and who I am. Even if I decide to get married again one day, I will keep my Pinky Ring to remind myself to never not take care of me again.

In witnessing these stories, my perception of the path forward shifted to a path inward: instead of achievement being the goal, authenticity is. Instead of moving up and forward on a 2D line, we can go deep within ourselves without being tethered to time – because it is never too late to choose yourself.  

Every day since then has been a step in the climb back. Not back to who I was, but to my transformed self; an older, wiser and more deliberate woman.

For me, choosing myself today means being a poet instead of an entrepreneur. ‘Poet’ is who my childhood self was destined to be, and who I am now thanks to my willingness to choose authenticity over achievement as my North Star. To write this poem, The Liminal Woman, I revisited and integrated the stories and themes shared by the women of my self love movement.

I am ME: a beautiful, untamed person.

Imagine the possibilities if we freed women from pre-determined timelines, milestones and social norms? If every option at every moment was worthy of her choice? If instead of waiting to be chosen, a woman instead chooses what is right for her, and when? No more labels, no more limits. Instead, a new paradigm is born: where instead of limited, 2D linear timelines, women instead thrive in robust, limitless 3D.

This poem is inspired by every woman who has chosen herself.

The Liminal Woman

by Melody Godfred

A woman once born
Is already tasked with
Reaching her destination
Her worth conditioned
On achieving the next step
On becoming, not being.

But what if women
Claimed the spaces between
Not as purgatory, but as power?
A place to free themselves from
The weight of when?

She chooses herself and
Ends the cycle of abuse.
She chooses herself and
Realizes her potential, now.
She chooses herself and
Instead of chasing, arrives.
She chooses herself and
No longer abandoned, is found.

She chooses herself and
Emerges deliberate, untamed
Complete and free
No timeline to wrestle with
No getting left behind
She reclaims her integrity
She embodies her truth
Her fullness so vivid
A new paradigm is born.